Dealing with difficult or defiant behavior is one of the most challenging aspects of parenthood. The following techniques can you help deal with difficult behavior in children:

Stay Calm

This advice may be the most difficult one to apply, but it is very important. Talk to your child in a calm voice about his behavior and feelings, and try to focus on criticizing the child’s specific bad behavior and not the child as a person.

Discuss Feelings

Try to talk to your child about his feelings when he is acting difficult. This can help you and the child recognize his feelings. Once you know what your child feels and why he acts a certain way, try to offer alternatives to how the child can express feelings apart from bad behavior. For example, if the child is feeling angry, tell him he can hit a pillow to express his feelings instead of having a tantrum. This does not only aid the child in expressing feelings, but it also teaches him that having feelings is acceptable, but some ways of expressing them are not.

Be consistent

Being consistent is one of the most important things you need when dealing with difficult behavior. It lets your child know what to expect from you. For example, giving your child less attention every time they have a tantrum will let them know that a tantrum is not an effective way to get attention. Set certain ground rules for your child’s behavior, and stick with them.

Choices

Sometimes, offering your child some choices will give them a little control, so they are more likely to do what you ask of them. Make sure that these choices are specific, limited and acceptable to you.

Rewards

Offer rewards to your child when they act well. This helps reinforce good behavior and help your child learn what you expect from them. Rewards for good behavior can also let the child know that you respect their feelings.

If you feel you are overwhelmed and have tried the advice we have discussed, but your child’s behavior has not changed for the better, you probably should talk to a specialist who can help you with dealing with your child. It is important that you do not blame yourself or your child for their behavior.