Every married couple goes through a difficult time in their marriage. Conflict in a marriage is not necessarily bad because people are different in their nature and each has their own ideas and opinions, which means agreeing on everything in life is not going to happen. In fact, accepting that you and your partner will not agree on everything in life is the first step to dealing with conflict as we will see.

Since conflict is something that essentially cannot be avoided altogether, we need to learn ways to deal with it when it happens. Dealing with conflict in the right way can be an opportunity for couples to come closer. Here are a few ways we can deal with conflict when it happens:

Acceptance

The first thing you need to do about conflict or disagreements is to realize that they do not mean that your life together is on a slippery slope. Arguments are something that cannot be avoided in marriage and they are something that will certainly happen.

Keep Calm

Having an argument and entering a yelling match with your partner are two different things. If your argument has turned into something ugly and you believe the situation is getting out of hand, try to remain calm and tell your partner that you should continue your talk when you both have calmed down. Resolving conflict is all about finding common grounds and compromising and not a contest of who can shout louder.

Know How to Ask Questions

When you are having a discussion with your spouse, try to ask open questions that give your partner a chance to talk and explain their point of view. Keeping the dialogue open like this gives you both the chance to speak your minds and discuss it in a productive way that will allow you to resolve your conflict.

Do Not Point Fingers

Accusing your partner of doing this or not doing that can cause them to become defensive, which will lead the whole argument into a new level you do not want. Instead of telling your partner what they’ve done is wrong, tell them how what they did made you feel. For example, instead of telling your spouse “you always watch TV when you come back home and never talk to me,” tell your partner, “I feel you are not interested in how my day went and how I’ve been.”

Let Go of What You Can

Having an argument for the sake of argument is not healthy at all. If you find that you can turn a blind eye to something your partner said or done, let it go. Although conflict is common in marriage, arguing about every small and big aspect of your life can negatively affect your marriage.